


Heart of the Pack

by queenbookwench



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: Abuse of Emdashes, Abuse of italics, Background Relationships, F/M, Kid Fic, No Beta, Pack Dynamics, Pregnancy, Rock Climbing, Search and Rescue, Solstice celebrations, abuse of ellipses, changeling cultural headcanons, choosing not to have children, discussion of high risk pregnancy, firefighting, internalized ableism, lots of talking, nonpredatory changeling headcanons, things in this fic that i know nothing about include, this fic also includes, we die like meh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbookwench/pseuds/queenbookwench
Summary: A couple of years after Kiss of Snow, Hawke and Sienna finally have _that_ talk. Yep, the kids talk.  And their interactions with the babies, children, and teenagers around them, help them find the way forward.Thanks to my recipient, biochemprincess, for mentioning your love of classic tropes!  That was all the encouragement I needed to write some trope-y kid fic with these two, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.Alas, the story got away from me and just kept growing. I hope the vignettes here can stand on their own, but there were meant to be a couple more scenes, which I am still working on. Watch this space!
Relationships: Sienna Lauren/Hawke Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biochemprincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/gifts).



> This is a large and sprawling canon; I used the Psy-Changeling wiki for detail-checks, but all errors are totally mine. If anything here contradicts the most recent canon, consider it an interesting AU! This story contains a lot of my personal headcanons about day-to-day life in the Psy-Changeling universe, so if you don't recognize something from the books, I probably made it up. 
> 
> Thanks, biochemprincess, for letting me know that you aren't completely caught up either ;)

Hawke rested a hand on Sienna’s shoulder as they gazed down from the front porch of their tiny cabin toward the heart of SnowDancer territory.

“What’s got you looking so far away?” he asked. 

“Thinking about the pack. About how I never could have imagined this when I was a child, when I barely saw my blood family and we all had to hide...everything important. Even after Judd came and got me, I couldn’t have imagined SnowDancer. Until it was real.”

Hawke grinned. He more than heard Sienna’s deep love and care for their pack, he felt it ripple through their mating bond. “And now I get to share the responsibility that goes with it,” he said, “since you didn’t have the sense to run screaming when you had a chance.”

Sienna smiled back, though her eyes were dark and serious. “I could never. Not once I knew I could stay and not destroy everything. Though”--her smile grew a little broader and more mischievous--”I do seem to recall some screaming being involved.”

“Indeed,” Hawke’s crinkled with warmth and wry laughter. Sienna leaned into his side, wrapping an arm around his waist, and they watched the sun begin to set over SnowDancer land. 

After awhile, Hawke spoke again, “They’re all our family, through the pack bond, but Sienna--we haven’t had a chance to talk about starting our own.”

“It wasn't the easiest talk to have in the middle of a war, no. And now--there's still so much to _do_.”

“There may never be a perfect time, and Sienna—I want cubs with you. Cubs that we can share all of this with,” he gestured out over the valley. “Cubs who’ll get to know the pack at peace, who’ll never have a moment when they aren’t surrounded by love.”

The depth of passion and sincerity in his voice warmed something deep inside Sienna, and she trembled a little at the same time, not with fear but with the sense that this conversation was touching something big, a deep well of feeling that lived in both of them. She took in a breath and let it out slowly. Noticing her impulse to lighten things a bit, she teased.

“Huh, that was pretty eloquent, Mr. Wolf. And eloquence gets rewarded with kisses.” She pressed her mouth and her body into his, and they didn’t talk for awhile after that--not in words at least. Eventually they separated a little and Sienna took another deep breath.

“ I want a family with you too. I want that _so much_ and I want to say I’m ready, let’s do it, but...the SnowDancer web is still new and I’ve just gained that control for myself, I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’m NOT going to die and possibly take everyone I love with me, with the fact that Ming's never going to threaten us again. I’m not ready to be a mother and I’m especially not ready to be a mother to a potential X. But I,” she choked a little, “I feel weak for saying that because I don’t want it to be true. I want to give you a family, because yours was lost. I don’t want you to feel like something’s _missing_.”

Hawke wrapped his arms around her. “I have you, Sienna. I have you and that’s more than enough. We don’t have to rush. We have time.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “We have time, baby. And you know, someday, if we do have a child with the X gene, they’ll have the SnowDancer web to hold them and help them channel; they’ll have so much that you never had and you’re amazing. I can’t imagine anyone better to teach them.”

Sienna smiled a crooked smile. “Yeah, I get that up here.” She tapped her temple with one finger. “But I think it’s going to take some time to feel it here.” She laid her hand over her heart. 

“We have time.” Hawke repeated. “And if anyone in the den tries to pressure you about it, they’ll hear from me.”

“I can handle a few inquiring maternal wolves, Hawke.” Sienna rolled her eyes just a little. 

“I know you can, babe. I just don’t want anyone in the pack to get the idea that they’re somehow doing us a favor by trying to make us fit whatever ideal image of an Alpha couple they’ve got in their heads.”

“Have some faith in our pack, Hawke--they know you--know both of us--better than that.” 

“You’re right. I just--changeling tradition can have a powerful hold on people’s feelings. And I’ve never fit the mold and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna start now.” 

Sienna laughed again, “Truly, I don’t think we have anything to worry about.” 

And indeed, it was as if the pack sensed their feelings on the matter and left the subject carefully alone. And perhaps they did exactly that. Sienna had always thought that the pack bond was not completely different from a Net, and with the formation of the SnowDancer web, everyone had been woven that much more closely together. 

No one asked probing questions, no one pushed. But children were so central to the life of the pack that over the yearsahead, both Hawke and Sienna found themselves with plenty of opportunities to consider that possible future. 

**Naya Hunter & Ben Stone**

Perhaps it was because they had been a part of her life so very early--Sienna had been present at her birth--but despite the fact that they were of SnowDancer, not DarkRiver, Hawke and Sienna were honored to be among Naya’s favorite grownups. At each and every joint pack gathering, she would rush up to them for a hug from Sienna and a (careful, lest Lucas growl) toss in the air from Hawke. Sometimes she’d even stay for a few minutes of lap snuggles before rushing off to play, though that was getting rarer as she got older and discovered the adventures that came along with trying to keep up with the “big kids.”

Still, Sienna was startled when she felt a panicked mindvoice calling _Sinna, Sinna,_ as she walked back to the den after morning patrol. It wasn’t a stranger’s voice, but it wasn’t a familiar one either. And it was definitely a child. _I’m here_ , she sent, _who’s this_?

 _Naya!_ came the response. _Sinna help me!_

 _Don’t worry, I will,_ she sent back, trying to fill her sending with calm and security. 

_What’s wrong?_

_We came to play with the wolves and we were ‘posed to stay all together but I wanted to go with Ben! He was going by himself and he said I was too little an I had to go back but then i slipped on a rock and he caught me but then he falled and now he’s_ hurt. It all came out in a rush of thought.

 _Where is Ben hurt, Naya?_ Sienna asked, trying not to let the little girl’s panic infect her. 

_On his leg! He can’t move!_

_All right,_ Sienna sent, _I need you to help me. Take a deep breath, OK, and then make a really good picture inside your mind of where you and Ben are. Can you do that?_

 _I can do it!_ Naya sent, and accompanying it with a picture of some rocks near a stream that Sienna recognized as being fairly close to the den; it wasn’t the spot that was a popular play site for the elementary kids, but another, quieter spot, a little upstream. 

_I’m going to get our healer, like Tammy at DarkRiver, to help Ben. And you can help by staying with him and keeping him company until we get there. You can always talk to me like this though, with your mind, if you get scared._

_Okay, Sinna. I’m not scared_ now. 

And indeed, when Sienna brushed Naya’s mind periodically, as she fetched Lara and they headed for the children’s location, she seemed concerned for her friend, but basically unworried. She had complete trust that the adults of either pack would help and protect her, would do as they’d said they would. Sienna marveled at what it would be to grow up, to be both Psy and Changeling, and have that base of trust from day one, if not before. 

When they arrived, Naya was leaning against Ben’s side, and saying “I’m really sorry you got hurt I didn’t want you to be by yourself and be sad!” 

“I know, Naya. And I’m sorry I got mad at you for following me. You just wanted to make me feel better. But sometimes you gotta let people deal with stuff by themselves first. Maybe you’ll understand it better when you’re older,” he said, from the height of double-digited wisdom. 

Naya elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

“I don’t like it when my friends are sad; it hurts right here,” she said and patted her chest. 

“Awww, Naya. I’ll try not to feel things so loud next time.” 

Lara carefully palpated Ben’s injured leg. “It doesn’t look like it’s broken, which you can be glad of for several reasons, including that I won’t have to carry you out of here.” She helped him up and handed him a set of crutches, which he took gratefully. 

“You look tired,” Sienna told Naya, “do you want a piggy-bank ride?” Naya set her chin obstinately, 

“I’m _not_ tired,” she insisted, “but I _do_ want a piggy-back ride.” 

Sienna knelt so the little girl could climb onto her shoulders, and they made their slow way back to the den, crossing paths with DarkRiver’s frantic assistant nursery teacher on the way. 

“Don’t be too hard on her, Francie,” Sienna said. “She knew enough to call me, and she kept her head pretty well for someone her age."

Ben sighed glumly, “Walker’s gonna kill me, sorry, Sienna.” 

She laughed. “He’s my uncle, I know what he’s like. And you might be surprised. Did you actually break any rules?” 

“No, we can go anywhere in the Free Zone as long as we’re back by the end of recess, and I was gonna come back...but I should have put taking care of Naya first and walked back with her myself instead of trying to keep going on alone and shooing her away.”

Sienna turned to Ben. "It sounds like you’ve got some stuff going on. Want to come up and talk to Hawke about it? Between you and me, he could really use a break from those finance reports.” 

Ben looked down at his shoes, but nodded. 

Hawke looked up from his desk when Sienna came in. 

“Brought a visitor for you, babe.” she said. 

“Please tell me they’re not from Accounting.” Hawke replied, “Not because I don’t appreciate them, but I’ve had about all the graph-based presentations I can take for one morning.”

“No, we had to do a bit of a rescue this morning, Lara and I--don’t worry, nothing serious, though Lucas might growl a little on the next conference call, since Naya was involved--the cats’ nursery was visiting today,” she added by way of explanation. 

“So they were. Come in, Ben,” he called, having just scented the boy in the hallway. 

Ben edged in, anxiety showing the tightness of his shoulders, but he nodded decisively when Hawke said, “Explain what happened in your own words.”

Once finished, Hawke said, “well, I think you have a good grasp on how you might have handled that situation better, but hindsight is always clearest. What’s most important is how we react in the moment, and what I see is a young man who was able to stop focusing on himself to prevent a younger child from being hurt, and who retained enough presence of mind to help her use her own gifts to get you two out of a tough spot. But Ben, you still haven’t told me one thing--why was it so important to you to be alone?”

“Can’t a guy want some privacy every now and then?” Ben said, a little sullenly. 

“Of course. But it sounds like something specific’s gnawing you, Ben, and I’d like you to tell me about it, since this whole situation would not have arisen otherwise.”

“This is so embarrassing, ugh,” Ben said, “I’m just really tired of some of the guys in my class, that’s all. They keep ragging me about how I like to play with the younger kids sometimes or talk to older people. One of them even called me” cough, ‘Alpha’s pet.’ “

He looked down and away from Hawke. “And Naya really wanted to be my partner, during the Big Kid/Little Kid exercises today, just walked right up and claimed me, and some of the guys were razzing me about it. And I could fight them---but, ugh, everything’s a contest with them, it’s all about who’s toughest, and I’m so bored of it! But they won’t stop pulling my tail…I culd fight them, and I probably will sometime, but, like I just don't wanna. And not because I'm scared, I just don't want to.”

Hawke put a finger under Ben’s chin, lifting it up. “First of all, you’ve learned already what I think it may take some of those hotheads awhile to absorb, which is that “toughness” is useless, no, worse than useless, if it’s not used for the purpose of helping your packmates and allies and keeping them safe. So, if you do fight them, I strongly suggest knocking them on their butts as quickly as possible. Second, it’s true that I’ve been more involved in your life than I have been in the lives of some of your classmates, but as your Alpha I care for each and every one of you. And you can trust me to be honest with you, Ben. I don’t do special treatment, so any praise or punishment you get from me, you earned. Got it?”

Ben nodded and all at once gave up his aloofness, charging into Hawke and wrapping his arms around him. 

Hawke rubbed his back. “Ooof. That’s the Ben I know. Ready to head back now?"

“Yeah, I’m ready.” 

And he swung out on his new crutches, calling out, “Thanks again, Sienna,” as he left. 

Sienna and Hawke exchanged glances after he left and smiled. “Never a dull moment in SnowDancer, is there?” Sienna teased. 

“Not with cubs around, there isn’t!” Hawke grinned back. 


	2. Fire Season: Old Wolves, New Tricks

Hawke sank into the complete sensory awareness of his wolf as he prowled along a remote ridge with two companions--Matthias, his sturdy lieutenant, in human form, and Shari, a ranger, also currently two-legged though Hawke sensed that she’d have more comfortable furred. Like him, her wolf rode close to the surface always.

In her early 60s, Shari was one of the oldest members of the pack and among the least sociable. Hawke had always thought that she was mismatched with her name, which sounded like it should belong to someone bubbly and a little frivolous, rather than to a hard-ass mountain woman. 

One of the few elder survivors of the covert campaign of sabotage and experimentation by rogue Psy scientists that had claimed the lives of so many, she’d supported Hawke’s claim--”more power to you if you’ve got the heart for it, kid”--she’d said then.

She spent most of her time patrolling at the edges of SnowDancer territory and returning to the den as rarely as she could manage. Hawke and Matthias were out with her on this patrol _officially_ because it was pack law that no one patrolled alone during fire season, but it was also partly to check on her. He worried that Shari was at risk of simply disappearing into her wolf one day, and he refused to let it happen on his watch.

Catching a scent of bone-dry pine, Hawke gave a sharp, commanding bark and his packmates followed. As they went, Matthias and Shari made notes on their handhelds, tagging areas on their topographic satellite maps--pockets of especially high fire risk, places that might be suitable for the managed, controlled burns that helped keep the forest healthy, current streamwater levels, and more.

His sharp nose caught an abrupt, bitter whiff of smoke and he looked up sharply. Shari nodded, “I caught it too, even half-noseblind,” she said, her voice low and raspy like smoke itself.

“On it,” Matthias added, lifting his satphone, “let’s see what the the watchtower’s got for us, direction-wise.”

After a brief chat with the watcher on duty, he showed Shari and Hawke (who’d quickly shifted to human) some downloaded drone footage. “Elias says it’s in SwiftStrider territory, not far from our border, wants to know if we can go give the deer a hand.”

“They ask for help?” Nonpredatory they might be, but Hawke didn’t intend to piss off the huge buck who led SwiftStrider if he didn’t have to.

“They did, actually--their team is split between firefighting and search and rescue. Apparently there was a whole herd of juveniles out here, playing at rut, and the fire reached ‘em and they panicked.”

“Well, shit,” Hawke muttered, reaching for Matthias’s satphone. “Elias, tell ‘em to put us on search and rescue; we have the noses for it and they’ll have more bodies for firefighting. Call Riley back at the den and have him send out a second team as well.” 

He paused for a moment to receive the flow of needed sitrep from his soldier. “Tell the deer that since we’re not far off but it’s damn rough country between here and there, to expect us on four legs rather than in the ATV. Hawke out.”

Matthias gave Hawke a questioning look. “You’re not worried about how scenting wolves might affect some already panicked baby deer?”

“Long as they don’t run toward the fire, I think the efficiency we can bring to the search is worth the risk. And Eli said two of Jose’s kids are among the missing.”

“Damn,” Matthias said. Both men were on friendly terms with the burly deer changeling who worked the door at _Wild_.

Hawke stood patiently in wolf form as Shari strapped packs to his and Matthias’s backs with practiced swiftness, then shifted herself. The three set off at a steady ground-covering lope towards Swiftstrider lands.

  
Crouched at the base of a rock formation, Elena Rivas shifted from doe to human form, closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. It was easier to stay calm in a form that wasn’t based so strongly in the flight instinct. Her little brother, Angelito, huddled against the rock wall. He’d reacted badly to the smoke, and seemed to breathe a little easier as a deer. There was no way the herd _wasn’t_ looking for them by now, and with Angelito struggling, she thought it better to stay put and rest than to try to move on.

If only they hadn’t stampeded, she’d have a better idea of where they were. It was mostly fucking Tony’s fault for being such a grandstander and then losing it when they encountered actual danger, but she had to admit that she hadn’t done a super great job keeping her head at first. At least she’d remembered to snag their pack with her teeth, so she and Angelito has supplies—including water, human food, a blanket, a compass, and a phone, which was unfortunately low on battery and not really able to get signal this far into the mountains. Still, maybe she could use it to flash signals if the angle of the sun was right.

She tried not to wonder how far away the fire was, or whether it was possible for the flames to shift in this direction. She really hoped her friends and herdmates were okay—even Tony.

Glancing up at the sky, she saw a falcon wheeling. She jumped up and down, waving frantically and trying to catch the light with her phone. Odds were that it was just a regular falcon and not one of the Windhaven changelings. But she had to try. 

Then she shook the blanket out of her pack and draped it over her brother’s hide; she made him drink some water, then drank a bit herself. Finally, she snuggled up next to him to rest and keep watch.

Hawke, Mathias, and Shari covered ground at a steady lope, melding the wolf’s senses with the human’ perception and knowledge; reaching the rendezvous point with SwiftStrider in a couple of hours. Out of courtesy, they shifted forms before closing with the deer changelings.

The herd had formed efficient firelines, a line of experienced leaders in human form directing the fire fight, while other members of the herd carried equipment in deer from. Hawke located Jose amidst the organized chaos and met the other man where he was directing a fire crew.

Jose passed him a well worn blue hoodie. “This is is Elena’s, she wore it yesterday.” Hawke nodded solemnly. “That’ll be helpful.”

He looked the other man in the eye. “We’ll find them. Let’s go.”

As soon as they were upwind, the pack threw their clothes into their packs and changed one by one. Catching a hint of the scent, they headed east, deeper into the foothills.

After some distance, they paused at the top of a ridge to take in the lay of the land. A rushing sound snagged their attention, and they looked up to see a falcon diving near on top of them, the scent clearly that of a changeling.

The moment the falcon landed in a flurry of wings and red dirt, it changed without pause into a small, brown-skinned young woman. The wolves shifted in response and the whole party stood unselfconsciously naked, the urgency of the situation overriding the protocols around public shifting.

“I’ve spotted the kids,” the falcon changeling said. “They’re about 10 klicks to the southeast, down in a ravine.”

Hawke nodded briskly. “Thanks. We’ll follow you as well as the scent. We’ll follow you as the well as the scent. What’s the sitrep? Any injuries?”

“Nothing I got close enough to see,” she replied. “The terrain’s pretty steep, though--you’ve got climbing gear?”

“Standard ranger kit,” Shari put in.

“Good. I don’t think anything beyond that should be needed.” The falcon changeling leapt into the air, shifting as she did so and flying off. 

"Who's going to belay, and who's gonna go go down and do the hands-on bits?" Shari asked. 

"You'll go down," Hawke said decisively. "You're the most experienced in wilderness rescue, and the deer are less likely to spook at a wolf who looks like someone's grandmother, as opposed to...'' he gestured at himself and Matthias.

"I don't look like anybody's goddamn grandmother, Hawke," she muttered, making a gesture with her hands that seemed to encompass the tattoos that covered most of her rangy, whipcord-thin body. "You're right though."

Elena tried to calm herself as the sun sank lower and lower. She did not want to be stuck out here after dark, with only herself between Angelito and the non-changeling wildlife, which included both wolves and cougars. But there was no reason to panic, she told herself--they had emergency supplies. She longed for a campfire but didn’t dare start one. The dry, hot winds blew through the ravine at times, stirring up dust and reducing visibility to near zero. Suddenly, her blood ran cold and she stiffened--outlined in the dust was the shape of a wolf.

Elena froze for a moment, then reached for her matches; wildfire risk or no, she could probably frighten a wild wolf most effectively as a human using fire. 

Even as she watched, though, the wolf seemed to dissolve, leaving behind the figure of a woman. The woman looked up and shouted something, and a pack landed at her feet from somewhere above.

“Hey, kid,” the woman rasped, “you ready to get out of here?"

“So ready,” Elena sighed. “I wasn’t expecting wolves though.”

“We were out patrolling and your chief gave us a call, we offered to help.”

Elena took a deep breath and decided to trust her. “Thanks so much--I was starting to get worried.”

Angelito woke, still in deer form, and might have tried to bolt had Elena not grabbed him and murmured, “It’s safe, it’s safe, _hermanito_ , she’s from SnowDancer.”

The fawn shifted into a round-eyed little boy.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Shari asked, her voice rough but calming.

Angelito shook his head. “I breathed some smoke and started coughing so I shifted.”

Shari fished around in her pack and pulled out a mask. “Put this on,” she said. “It’ll filter out whatever shi--stuff is hanging around in the air.”

She nodded to Elena again. “If I give you a harness, with a team on top of the ridge to belay you, can you climb?”

Elena thought about it for a moment, then said she’d be fine.

Shari turned to the little boy. “You can ride with me, kiddo.” she said.

Angelito nodded shakily and agreed. Shari strapped on the climbing harness, then took him in her arms, instructing him to twine his arms through her straps.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “It looks steep but I’ve done this before and I’m not gonna let you fall.”

He shook a little in her arms as she ascended the steep, rocky slope, secured by Hawke and Matthias at the top. He held onto her a little as they watched Elena make her ascent, only letting her go to run to his sister.

Later, Hawke recounted the events of the day to Sienna, flopped in the pool beside her as he soaked away a hard day’s exertion.

“All in a patrol day’s work,” she said with a grin, before pulling him into a long and enthusiastic kiss.

“The biggest surprise of the whole thing, for me, wasn’t even how well all 3 groups--us, the deer, the falcons--all worked together but how much the Rivas kids took to Shari. She’s got a dinner invite from Jose for the next time she’s in town and, wonder of wonders, I think she might actually go.”

Sienna smiled gently. “Good to know that at least some old wolves can learn new tricks. I’m glad; I know you worry.”

“I want to be annoyed that a couple of deer kids did what I wasn’t sure I could do, as her Alpha, but mostly I’m just grateful.” Hawke sighed deeply and rested his head on Sienna’s shoulder, content.


	3. December: Little Talks

Winter solstice was a big event in many changeling groups--DarkRiver included. A giant log glowed at the center of a bonfire, as the party spilled outdoors from the den’s central gathering area. Flirting young soldiers and apprentices stole kisses under the mistletoe alongside established mates, while cubs ran around in both wolf form and human, snagging treats off the table regardless of shape.

At a certain point, Hawke gathered everyone together, keeping his remarks brief but heart-felt as he gave tribute to those they’d lost. Then came the presentation of the babies, as each infant born during the year was lifted up and their name proclaimed to the assembled pack members. This, of course, provided the perfect excuse for everyone to cuddle the pack’s newest cubs. Which was exactly what Evie, Brenna, and Sienna did as soon as the official ceremonies were done.

Evie looked down at the little girl in her arms, born just a couple of months earlier and sighed a longing, tender sigh.

“Can’t fool me, Ev,” Sienna said. “I know you’re thinking about kidnapping her and taking her home!”

“Ha! Juliet would gut me,” Evie replied with a laugh. “I’ve definitely got baby fever, though.”

“Have you and Tai started trying?” Sienna asked.

Evie’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s just--his physical therapy is still such an ordeal that he doesn’t always have the energy for sex, and some he gets in these _moods_ and starts talking about how our child, if we have one, needs a father with full use of his limbs and...I just don’t know what to do.”

“If you want me to knock some sense into him in the training room, I will,” Sienna said. “Because I understand not being ready--oh boy do I ever--but that’s some grade A ableist bullshit. Partial paralysis is not going to make Tai any less of a great dad, and I’m pretty sure the entire den knows you’d be an _amazing_ mom.”

“It’s hard, though,” Brenna added softly. “For anyone, I think, but especially for changelings, because we’re so physical. I mean, that’s true for me, and I’m a computer geek who spends hours in front of my monitor. It was so difficult to accept that I might never fully recover from what Enrique did to me. 

“You know, Lara wasn’t sure if I’d be able to have kids, but--I’ve been afraid to tell anyone officially--though I’m sure some people have scented it--I’m pregnant.” she burst out.

The baby’s mother reclaimed her little one just in time to hear this news, and congratulated Brenna heartily. Right away, Evie and Sienna wrapped their arms around her, a bit more gently than usual.

“I’m so scared,” Brenna whispered, “Lara says I’m high risk for a changeling.”

“We’re here for you, Bren,” Sienna murmured. “If there’s literally anything we can do…”

Indigo had been standing behind them for a little while, watching the festivities. She too, came to give her sister-in-law a gentle hug, but Sienna noticed a shift in her expression, passing too quickly to be fully understood.

Tai and Judd came up shortly afterward to claim their mates for a dance. Indigo turned to go, having planned to do a perimeter shift before she and and Drew joined the party.

Before the older lieutenant could leave, Sienna nudged her gently. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but even if I weren’t Psy, I’d know something was eating you.”

Indigo sighed and leaned against Sienna a little. “This is such a joyful night,” she said. “I don’t want to inflict my mood on anybody.”

“I can take it, Indigo.” Brenna told her mentor.

“Well, Drew and I...you know that we had to be adults very young. Drew helped Riley raise Bren, and...I had Dad but I still did a lot. Anyway, the long and short of it is that Drew and I have decided not to have kids--at least not right now. I suppose we could change our minds later. And I think that’s the right decision for us--but sometimes I wish I fit the mold a little more than I do. And I wonder, are we being selfish?”

“You? Indigo? Wanting to fit in and conform?” Sienna teased gently.

“Even I’m not immune to the desire,” Indigo sighed a little.

Sienna reached over to hug her.“Whatever you and Drew decide, I’m sure it’ll be right for you. And don’t worry about being selfish--you and Drew give so much to the pack already, and you’re going to be an outstanding aunt and uncle. I can tell. And kids need people like that in their lives, people who care about them but aren’t their parents. I had Judd and Walker, and once I started pack training. I had you. And take it from me, you rock.”

Indigo grinned. “I didn’t know I needed a pep talk, but apparently I needed a _Sienna Lauren_ pep talk.”

She sauntered off to do her shift, and Sienna smiled to herself. She wasn’t going to say so, but in a way it was comforting that even the indomitable Indigo questioned herself occasionally.


End file.
